Proud to Be a Man
The inner journey to authentic masculine presence
For the man to be a kind, strong and gentle presence in the world and a wonderful accomplice and partner to the woman; for him to arrive at a place where he can confidently and unapologetically embody and express his healthy masculinity and sexuality — he’s got to embark on a deep inner journey!
How deeply he dares to meet himself is how deeply he can live the connections and relationships in his life.
I believe the man’s yearning for true and meaningful connection — to the world, to himself, to other men and the woman — is strong enough for him to take on the challenge of the inner journey back home.
My passion and the core of my work is helping men to feel healthy, empowered, and wanted and to thrive in all areas of their lives (see here for some free resources).
My path of personal growth and radical transformation showed me that for men to be desired by the world and be their best version they can be, they have to embark on a deep inner journey!
It is a journey of intense self-discovery, freedom from conditioning, heart-based empowerment, and into self-belief, and self-love. It’s a journey into a life of healthy sexuality, creativity, and grounded masculinity.
My dream is for men to show up to do the inner work that’s needed for them to reach a place inside themselves from which they feel loved, welcome, and wanted in the outside world. I believe that a mature, grown man who has done his inner work is very much needed in the world and that is why I offer these journeys.
My deep wish is that men do not feel constrained in any way to be and express their full selves in a world that got burnt by the shadow frequency of masculinity, while it also yearns for and needs the healthy and loving expression and embodiment of the masculine.
A world where for many men it has become confusing what it is that’s wanted and needed from them. What is the place of the man? What is his role? What is healthy and mature masculinity?
This inner journey I offer men takes explores our emotions, sexuality, masculine and feminine integration, and our connection with the world and life in general.
Before I share more about The Journey, just a few words on what’s so important for the heterosexual man: Sexuality and Women.
Man and Sex
I sometimes hear that men feel ashamed about their sexuality. This makes me very sad! Why would something so beautiful, natural, and primal feel shameful or have to be hidden?
It is part of my dream that men can fully embrace and live their sexuality instead of hiding it … and freely and truthfully be and express their full masculinity, in the web of life and co-creation.
Our history has left many dark spots on the map of our shared humanity. The violent shadow expression of male sexuality and abuse of power is certainly one of them. Much work is needed to heal and repair some of the damage caused.
The fact that there is a shadow expression of sexuality, however, can’t possibly mean that men have to stand in some kind of ‘shame corner’ when it comes to sexuality — this does not serve anyone.
It is time to dig deep, personally and as a collective to free ourselves from sexual shame and guilt. Both are weighing heavily on our shoulders, causing the suppression of our sexuality and, as a result, bringing forth even more of the shadow expression of our sexuality.
A big part of this inner journey I offer men helps to uncover conditioning or wounding that makes men hide or be ashamed of their masculinity and sexuality. You cannot fully stand in your power, nor are you all of yourself, if you are not living and expressing your sexuality. I dream that men can freely and healthily be and express their sexuality and allow it to nurture and benefit all other areas of their lives.
Man and Woman
As a heterosexual man, I know without a doubt that there is a deep-seated desire and natural instinct in the man to want to be with the woman and to open his heart and being to her and create a mutually deep, nourishing, and inspiring connection.
Instilled in him is a strong call to merge, unite and co-create with the woman. He may be lost on his path or inside his ego, and he may have forgotten his yearning for a meaningful partnership with the woman — but this desire is a part of who he is.
I dream that men can authentically and freely embrace their innate attraction to and adoration for women as what it is: a beautiful and, in its original form, an innocent and natural expression of the masculine. The (heterosexual) man wants to merge with the woman and as he goes on this inner journey, he will see that the more intimately he can connect with himself, the deeper the connection can grow between him and the woman. She can only meet him as deep as he is able to meet himself and vice versa.
An important pre-requisite for a healthy union like this is for him to meet and love his own inner woman, the feminine aspects of his being. For deep connection and fulfilled union with the outer woman, he needs to truly know and love his own inner woman. But more about this later.
The Journey is a real hero’s journey and will require everything of him. It will take a lot of courage and his readiness to let go of his ego, of what he thinks he knows, and surrender to a greater intelligence way beyond his perception. It’s a journey into the heart landscape, into the mysterious feminine, into the world of emotion and unknown beliefs and conditioning of his subconscious mind.
Just like a hero heading out on a quest, he has to leave the familiar and venture into unknown territory: his heart, his emotions and his inner feminine … and into new, deeper levels of his sexuality.
If he wants to feel deeply connected to the world and the woman, which I believe is what he yearns for, there is no way around that:
In order to grow into a responsible, heart-connected, powerful, and masculine-feminine integrated man, there is no way around connecting with his heart, his body, his sexuality, his emotions, his shadow, his wounds, and his own inner woman.
Meeting his heart and his emotions
Along this journey I take men on, he learns that the landscape of the heart is a safe space and that he can be fully in his masculine power AND be deeply connected to his heart and emotions — the one doesn’t cancel out the other.
He learns how to meet and befriend his heart and emotions and recognizes that they are not scary and to be avoided, but are the door and the ticket to wholesome healing, real empowerment, and a true connection with self, people, and all life. How deeply one feels is how deeply one dares to connect with the world and how much one can truly be here.
Meeting his inner woman
During this journey, the men will meet, befriend and learn to love their inner woman. From my personal experience, it is essential as a man to know your ‘inner chick’. Know her, chat with her, take her out on a date — connect with her.
No man can truly be in his full power and authenticity if he has not met his inner woman truly and deeply. This is necessary to embody, integrate and connect our inner masculine and feminine, which in turn is essential for being an attractive and powerful and authentic man.
Your inner woman is the one that teaches you how to receive, how to relax, and how to allow things to unfold, and she reminds you that you’re connected to everything. Your inner woman is the one that teaches you about the feminine mysteries, about the woman you like to connect with in your outer life.
Meeting his sexuality
Thriving and healthy sexual expression is a pre-requisite to being a thriving and healthy man. Man or woman, our sexuality is connected to our whole life and an integral part of who we are.
On this journey, the man learns how to meet, feel and release shame and guilt around being a sexual being and he discovers that his healthy sexual expression positively influences all areas of his life.
There is a lot of bad sex education and unhealthy conditioning to work through. On the other side of this, he learns how to be free sexually and how to retain and re-direct his powerful sexual energy into other parts of his body and any area of his life. He will learn how to become the best lover he can be, how to be fully present with his partner during sex, and make love for 30 or 90 minutes or longer, allowing for deep, ecstatic, and transcendental sexual experiences.
Out and Beyond
Then, from that powerful place of heart connection, emotional intelligence, masculine-feminine integration, and healthy sexuality, the man can connect with the outer world — nature, women, men, the planet, etc. — in a loving, caring, and overall positive way.
The deep transformation from that inner journey will allow him to continuously expand his consciousness and deepen the connection in all relationships and to all of life around him!
Living life, being a man, and being himself will be a much happier and richer experience after he has dared the adventure of journeying deep into all parts of himself. The rewards for the journey taken are endless … for him and for the world, as finally, more and more men become a male presence that is authentic, grounded, powerful, and loving.
Photo: Pablo Heimplatz on Unsplash